The Rules

A little venting about Germany- hopefully no one takes this personally.

Before I even moved to the 3rd Reich, I learned quite about about the people, culture, and who knows what else. The really important stuff, let us say. It seemed like there were so many laws and rules governing everything I could think of in Deutschland, i.e. codes for construction techniques and results, how food had to be produced, what you do with your garbage, consumption of energy, cannot think of any more.

I will not be addressing all the things above, but maybe.

I remember when I first got here, actually it was in Holland, but the law seemed to apply to anywhere in Europe. We all know the pedestrian walk and don't walk signals for crossing streets, as the Europeans do too. It was made implicitly clear to me that crossing when that light was red was FORBIDDEN. Of course, in the US we have "j-walking", but anyone who has ever been cited for that must have really bad luck. Anyway, it turns out people do it all the time, as do I if it is safe. But let me tell ya, it always feels weird when you go on a red, and there are a bunch of people who were probably part of the 3rd Reich, if you catch my drift, just waiting there for way too long when there are no cars in sight. On top of that, I was told that nothing even happens if a cop stops you for this.

The yellow sack are reserved for recycling of pieces of garbage. The rule seems very strict about only putting these out for collection before 7am that day, but with a week until the next collection, I have already seen a few gross piles of the yellow sacks around town. If people cleaned the pieces of trash as it says on the bag, they probably wouldn't be so gross.

I guess the whole U-bahn, or subway system here became totally no smoking about 2 months ago, but still people are smoking in there. Mostly the lepers and other untouchables of society, who actually don't seem to care for the society or the rules that come with it, but as long as they can read, I would expect them to abide, especially in Germany!

There isn't a rule about this, but just some pet peeves about peoples' etiquette in the gym. I guess this happens everywhere, but I don't see why someone smokes a cigarette right before or right after working out at the gym. I especially love when they smoke right outside the door that is being opened intermittently by people coming and going, and therefore letting in some awesome smoke right into the room with all the cardio machines. No one puts the free weights away when they are done with them, except me of course. And last but not least, I love it so much when people work out with their cell phones at their sides. I think there should be a rule about talking on your cell phone in between sets, I mean what kind of zone is that person in if they are taking phone calls. ANNOYING!!!

That is all for now, but I am sure there will be more to come.

"It's bogus!!!"

"But, it's still the rules."--- A nice little back and forth between 2 characters from a beloved movie of my youth, RAD. The ultimate in BMX racing 80s movies featuring Rocky's wife, and Aunt Rebecca, of Full House fame. I recall a scene in the movie everytime I here the song "Send Me an Angel". I have 2 different versions of the tune in my catalog, and I never dreamed I would hear it blaring out of the speakers at McFit, but I did. Truly an unbelievable occurrence. Anywho, in the scene of Rad where this song makes it into the score, Crue Jones and Aunt Becky do some "bike-dancing". By employing the willing suspension of disbelief, this was fine with me as a young lad. But what I was always confused about was how they got their bikes up into the rafters of the gym to ride them around up there. And, since it is not available on DVD, and the VHS versions are few and far between, I still wonder about this phenomena.

I will avoid talking about "The Rules" in this blog for fear of making it too long and having the readers drop out. So check out the blog that made this whole blog come to mind...next.

"Hulk Hogan, eat your heart out!" -- Rad

PS You can also check out the recently found website devoted to "Rad" here:

I can't believe she made me do that...

Well, I guess I didn't really do it. Not 100% anyway, but I mean, come on, who can honestly bear reading 40 or so pages of one person talking philosophy in a novel. This is what the author, and self-proclaimed philosopher, Ayn Rand had me do this morning after I put it off last Friday when I skipped ahead to see how long John Galt would be talking. Basically, the whole rant could have been summed up in 2 pages, especially these pages and this small sized font. I don't remember most of it, and skipped a lot of it. I just need to vent at what a waste of time. The hero of the book is somewhat admirable, except for the fact that he stole Dagny from Hank Rearden, which I thought was a nice relationship. Secret Power couple.

Now what do I think of John Galt? It reminded me of why I hated philosophy class so much in college. Or reading the assignments rather. Some philosophers have interesting ideas, but then they write like a million pages, describing and giving examples of their theories, which is all they are, and succeed in making it the most boring undertaking of all time. I am pretty sure no one has every thought of philosophy class as exciting. Luckily one's thinking usually ends there, but imagine how boring the philosophers themselves must have been. Averring the numerous theories on how life is meant to be lived, and getting the most out of it and all this crap, while they wither away writing and thinking and talking about the same shit all day long but in different words. Maybe sometimes they would have little boring tea parties with other philosophers and argue their ideas to each other. No one ever won the argument I guess, as it is just their opinion and no facts are involved.

I am not against thinking deeply about things. In fact, I undertake that very action on various things in this world and others that I am sure no other human being has ever taken the time to philosophize about. But I certainly am not stuck up enough to think someone wants to read a few hundred pages about it. Actually, I wouldn't waste my own time in the first place producing something like that.

So, I am just glad that people are talking to each other again, and the story is almost over, and the million page speech is over.
If the book does not get better, and John Galt doesn't hit me back with something goood, I might end up repressing his character from my memory and will indeed be asking, "Who Is John Galt?"

Protein Shakes

Let me just start with something that was not planned in my mind for this entry- I am sick and tired of trying to figure out whether words are spelled with "...ie..." or "...ei..." I am not sure if at 1 point in my life I just memorized them individually- I probably did, but it drives me crazy that there is no system. For instance, in the word protein, the EI combo makes a long E sound, like in teeth. But in the word shriek, it is an IE combo that produces the long E sound, like in cheese. I would have appreciated it, if whoever made these decisions would have been more scientific, if you will, and made some kind of a system. It is a little annoying not knowing how to spell words in my own language. Actually, I don't care if I know how to spell the words, I just want there to be a system, so when I come across a word like this, I know what to write. AAAAAnoying. At least in German EI makes one sound, and IE makes another, always. Unless the word is foreign, like French or some other tongue.

Okay now that I wrote that, I forget why this was called protein shakes. So give me a few. While I am thinking, I guess I can write about protein shakes, and protein bars. I recently went on clifbar.com to see about ordering the protein build choco mint bars en bulk, thinking that ordering directly from the producer would save some money. I was used to the 1$ or 1.3$ of Trader Joes for these little guys, but found a box of 12 would cost 21 USD. maybe that is the same as the 1.30 each, but still- straight from the manufacturer, and en bulk, come on fellas. It's all ball bearings these days. Stupid monkeys.

Protein bars here have about as much protein as a tigers milk, which is not a lot, and they are way too expensive, even before converting it to USD. And let me tell you about the protein powder. The word for powder by the way is Pulver. I found that interesting because of our word pulverize, and the many versions of it. With the writing on most labels in a foreign tongue, I had come to believe that no one here was worried about the amount of protein in the things they eat or drink because I figured the word would be similar enough to identify, as are a lot of scientific type words. Finally I read the labels of a bunch of different protein powder types and brands, and had come to believe they were selling egg-white protein here. Seemed weird, but then I figured out the word for protein in German is Eiweiss. Egg white. What a pain in the ass. Funny translation though.

When I thought about the etymology of the German word, I imagined a land where their sole source of protein must have been eggs, or egg whites rather. Then my logic caught up with my imagination and realized they must have had chickens, so why not call protein chicken. Then I thought maybe it was more sustainable to use the chickens for eggs mostly until the end, when they ate them. But seriously, they must have had a lot of other animals here, so my argument held no sound. I guess that would be like the Japanese calling protein fish. Or maybe tofu. Because at least then we know that is all they had. Or, were there animals in Japan?

I get most of my lead from paint chips, so I think I am going to start calling lead 'paint chips'. "Hey, Jimmy, can I borrow your pencil? Mine ran out of paint chips. Thanks."

I guess I never got to protein shakes or powder, maybe next time. I guess the eternal question still stands, what came first, the egg or the chicken.

I'll take the latter.

Good Weather

Weather is nice, unfortunately I am under it. Well, I guess we are all under it right now, except for you astronauts out there. Good news is the Walking Tour is complete!! Aside from that, just sitting in bed sick and thinking I probably shouldn't have went to the gym last night or the day before. So now I shall try to put a slideshow on here. You may have also received it in the mail if you are on my Snapfish mailing list, if not send me your email and I'll include you from now on. There is a link below in case my plans don't work on here.

Revenge of the check out lady

The trip to IKEA was a success. Granted, it was tough to find where to pay, and the 2 items I went to buy were unavailable, but the thing that overshadowed all the negatives was the free sample Swedish meatball. It was tough holding myself back from taking 5 of those cute little delicious things, but I stuck with only 1. Yes, I am a friendly soul and was nice enough not to cause drama in the life of the girl putting the toothpicks with Swedish flags into them.

I am starting to think one could ride around Germany's public transportation system for free. They really barely check if you have bought a ticket or anything. Apparently you can get checked randomly, but I think with my seldom rides and fabulous luck I would be just fine.

Then it was to Lidl again yesterday for foodstuffs. I was planning on picking up just one item, so no cart or little plastic basket or anything, but I somehow accumulated just a bit more than I could handle. This made it even harder when I had to face the cashier lady. Luckily I got everything into my backpack and paid in time before she winged someone else's groceries at my little fingers. Of course this was only due to the fact that she forgot to wing my own bananas at me so I had some extra time to pack it all in.

I was wondering why so many coins are gathering and making my wallet so heavy, then I realized it is because I never have enough time to count some exact change and get rid of it. There are also 1 and 2 euro coins instead of bills, which are obviously a lot heavier. I also realized with the speedy checkout routine, they could give me back whatever change they want because I never have time to count it- just gotta throw it in the wallet, or pocket and get the hell out of there.

CRB Walking Tour almost complete, after today all pictures should be in hand and undergoing post production for the masses to gather en masse and enjoy the massive buildings wear people attend mass.

PS, I Love You

PS- also on the roster today will be some milk drinking, because today is the 14th of April, and that's what it says on the carton. Also, I am not sure if I have translated this correctly, but I think I bought "Party Potatoes" last week. Awesomeness... Wish me luck.

Sweden in America, or Germany

IKEA- place to find Swedish stuff in America, but it also seems to have a place in the market in Germany. So, What is the plan? New comforter cover and pillow cases. Getting there will require a walk and a subway and a bus and more walking. Getting back here is what I am worried about. It should be easy enough, the bus really worries me though. I mean usually bus stops are a little busier than the subway station. Smaller writing, less time to decide to get on or not. At first I considered the search and purchase one of the challenges of today's journey, but now I am thinking it won't. So, let us all just hope that my mind can think quickly, and the directions I have written down are good enough. Did that CB Walking Tour of Nurnberg last Thursday, but as I was short of time after waking up at 1, I still have some to finish maybe today, or else tomorrow. Depends how long it takes me to shave the winter fur off my body. At that juncture, I will let te readers of this blog in on the photos from the walking tour. I think we all remember that famous CRB Walking Tour around the island of Qingdao in China. What a success.

Matthaeuspassion

It has been awhile since I attended mass for Good Friday, and this year was no different. I also am not totally sure if the Friday before Easter is even called Good Friday in English; I guess that is an indication of the last time I worried about doing something special on that day. Lord knows I was in the middle of nowhere in Santa Fe county last time this day crossed my path, or trail, if you will. Obviously I was not doing anything then, nor for Easter. But I preferred what I was doing.

Notice that I said I did not attend mass. I was, however, in a church. A little place called St. Sebald kirche, for a little something else called Matthaeuspassion conzert. I thought I was going to hearing some nice orchestra music, but it turned out to be some kind of play type thing written by Bach. I did enjoy the full ensemble of instruments, and even though I didn't understand the German, I would have stayed had that church not been so freezing. After the first part ended, we headed outside to take in the warm rays of the sun, and once that happened a nice cup of kaffee outside the Durer Haus seemed more appealing then freezing our arses off for another 1 hour, 2 hours? --that is what we did not want to find out. It did feel good to do some kind of cultural, religious type thing, in case it's all true.

They are calling the day Karfreitag here, which apparently has no meaning, just like Sylvester- the German name for New Year's Eve, don't worry it is not a direct translation. I originally told them that Karfreitag was Black Friday in English, I guess I thought this because this is the day commemorating JC's ailing up to the crucifix and eventual death. I'm pretty sure I was way off though, and Black Friday is the day after xmas with all the deals in the stores- the only time of year they are in the black. So the question that I cannot answer now is...why is it called GOOD Friday?

What Is Grosser?

A thought and question from sometime in the past two weeks.

What is Grosser?

Coming home from the gym and the stairway up to apartment is smelling like the smoky old lady who lives downstairs and smokes the whole time,
OR

Hitting the streets early one morning and seeing pigeons salvaging what they can from a pile of puke(vomit, throwup).?


I was pretty frustrated with not being able to breath clean air after running, but the pigeon thing was not refreshing either.

The Ninja Bumblebee walking tour is today. It was supposed to be yesterday but time got the best of me, and actually I may only have 3 hours now so we will see what we can do. I was on a small walking tour of the town yesterday evening so I got some new ideas for photos. I am sure mine will be better though. Mainly because I'll be thinking to myself in English, as opposed to trying to listen to someone in Deutsch.

The Check Out Line

I know some of us Americans out there are accustomed to a leisurely experience when buying groceries. I am not sure if the same goes for purchasing non-food wares, but at least I know with groceries, it is anything but leisurely.
Back in the good ol' US of A the cashiers probably thought I was mentally slow or on drugs, because boy did I take my time looking for my savings card, money, id, you name it. But you could talk to them. If you wanted to.

Here in Germany, when they say halooo, that is about it, then the total cost, then wiedersehen- see you again. (Not with that cockiness, missy) I guess in America you get used to the grocery stores. I have lived in a couple different places there, so at this point probably any grocery store I encounter throughout the Us I will know, and is probably a partner of another one I have frequented before. It just seems weird to have totally new stores from which to buy food. The names seem weird too. Lidl, Hit, Rewe, Norma. And of course here in Little Istanbul, there a bunch of Turkische markets that I am not sure even have names.

Maybe the cashiers in America are rushing in a way, but you don't notice it because usually there was someone bagging your groceries while you took care of the money business. But here there is no bagger, and no bags even. You can of course, by a number of any different type of bags at the counter. I guess this is good for recycling and getting people, like me, to reuse the bags we have, or else invest in those canvas ones.

Sometimes I try to get all my purchases into my bags before she asks for money, but I always fail. I guess I still have work to do actually, because usually I do not even have my stuff off the counter before the next persons sheisse is being forcibly slid down into my pile.

It is a real race let me tell you. I f I ever want to cause no trouble, I just throw everything into my cart, and sort out the bags and whatnot at another spot, which seems to be the general practice. Just another moment in the day of an American in Germany.

The Vacuums

Is space really a vacuum. Doubt it.

One thing that I really love about Germany is the vacuums. I do not understand why this technology has not made it to America, but let me tell you, itsa niiice. Lucky for you this blog will be short, because the thing I like about them is that the chord is coiled up inside of the vacuum on some kind of spring system I would imagine. So you pull it out and it stays out, then you just tap a button and that thing gets sucked in so fast it is like a rogue firehose flapping around on its way back into its home. It really makes vacuuming fun.

The Bat Mobile

It is 7:30 am, I am guessing. Some light creeps through the outer shields of the batmobile- obviously the shield was not lowered all the way. I am not sure if I was awakened by a pee or what. Then I heard the shields being raised one by one, that is what woke me.

It happens every morning around this time, the shields on the windows are taken away, and the house can once again take on light. The first time it happened, I had no idea what the noise was. But as the days went by, I realized it was a morning thing that the Germans are raising these shield-like things that cover the outside of the windows at night. My first thought was the batmobile, hence the title of this blog. I guess it happens at night too, the shields going down that is, but I guess I don't notice it as much as the morning because it is quieter obviously.

So, just a part of German life that is not present in America that I noticed and thought I would share. Now that I am living in a separate apartment now, I control the shields, and lets just say it doesn't happen that early, sometimes one doesn't come up until late in the day even. But it is definitely good for the night time, and for blocking the morning light.

Present day again

Okay so this just happened this morning, and I didn't want to forget about it, so, although I am not up to date with the blogs, had to skip to today. So I was walking across the Plaerrer, obeying all of the pedestrian crossing lights, which takes longer than just going underground, but it is nice out today, so. As I was awaiting my last green pedestrian and bike light, I noticed a man descending the stairs to the underground hesitantly. He had his hand up to his mouth. I thought he was either considering continuing to the underground route or above ground on account of the nice weather- just as I had contemplated a few moments earlier, and maybe he just nibbles his finger or something when faced with such a difficult decision. My second thought was that he was a chapstick lover(like myself), but was using a spread-on version instead of the actual stick version. I was thinking, maybe he is a lost American and I could aid him as a good neighbor.

Then, an arm came from out of my view, and grabbed his arm. A woman, presumably his wife, had made the decision for him, and they would be taking the outside route.( Or so I thought as they came back up to the top of the stairs). That is when I noticed they were both sporting clear little flexible, coiled wire extended from inside the collar up to a single ear. Something was going down.

I quickly gathered that they were searching for someone, or hunting maybe. Hunt. They sort of ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. I haven't seen this phenomena actually, but in my words I would say they looked like some people on a scavenger hunt being guided through their earpieces by a person in a helicopter high above. Pretty pathetic. Although the plain clothes threw me off at first from afar, my many years of independent covert agent practice had shined in that moment, and thought of how much better a job I would do of trying to hide my identity. I mean, what kind of technology requires you to move the microphone of the earpiece to your mouth. Lame technology, that is what. Anyway, after some delicious cold soup, I will now hydrate for the gym.

Silly German undercover people.

Back to the future, again

Well folks,

Didn't want to go off my intended route, so no gummi bears. Tear. Salty solution from my eye, not rip. Anyway, I guess I actually did pass the place with the bread, but I was thinking of getting the little fruity delicious bears at a different shop. I must have forgot about that. Blast. I did go in to pick up some strawberries and different bread, for breakfast, and saw the gummi bear and other shapes section. SUCCESS!!! I thought, ,89 cents, indeed. That is when I picked up the bag and noticed a lightness. So I checked out the package and realized it was only 200grams. Now, I don't know what a gram is, but I know that 300 grams is more than 200 grams, so I decided to opt out of the lesser weight for the same price. Okay well that is all.

Quick Fix

While I am still not yet up to today on the blog calendar, I would like to take a ride on the blog time machine- on second thought, better take a ride in the blog time machine, kus those things can go pretty fast. Anywho, our destination is right now. I am about to head out on the town once held as a center for the HRE, that's holy Roman Empire to you and me, for a few errands, and I was just thinking I need something to subsist on for the journey. 2 things come to mind, no 3. taste, price and health benefits or (deficits?opposite?)disadvantages. So we got something I discovered yesterday called Turkische Pide, basically a large amount of a flattish bread for ,60 Euros, or gummi bears which run at ,89 euros.

So. the only thing the bread has going for it is the price and quantity. Buuuuuuuut, I think I am gonna go with my gut on this one, not to mention with the better taste and health benefits.

In reality, I don't even know why I wrote this all out. I don't think time travel was necessary to change the course of time on this one, but thanks for reading and helping out anyway.